Okay, so he's not seven feet tall. His name is Doctor Allen, and I am a new patient of his, and he has got to be the best dentist I have ever been to. You see, when I was a little kid, I was traumatized by my dentist. He once forcefully held me down while drilling my teeth; another time, he had to pull a tooth as the result of an abscess, and was extremely rough with the numbing shots. Not to mention he was a real ass. So, needless to say, I've hated the dentist ever since. My last cleaning was kind of embarrassing; I had cavities and hadn't been to the dentist in three years. The cavities were very small, and borderline cavities, but they were cavities nonetheless. I had the work spread out over two visits; right side, left side. Last Tuesday, I went for my right side, and they brought out the nitrous oxide. I'd never been drugged up for any dental procedure.
My dentist was very gentle, understood my hyperventilation about the whole ordeal, managed to calm me down, and hit me hard with the gas. So hard, in fact, that I "high-called" my best friend. I had no clue that I'd called her and left her a voicemail; this was told to me two days ago. Yes. The nitrous was that good.
Today, I went back to the dentist so that my mouth could be finished. Doctor Allen was nowhere to be found. Panic slowly began to set in. Who was going to be working on my mouth? Where was Doctor Allen? I want my doctor! You are not touching me until Doctor Allen is here. (kind of sounds like labor). I began to hyperventilate once again, and they hit me with the nitrous. You see, nitrous gets you super high. No wonder why cars with NOS go so fast. It doesn't numb you, or knock you out, but it makes you calm, and you stop caring. It's a nice feeling. However, when the patient is so panicked that they're hyperventilating, and it's a new, strange dentist drilling IN YOUR MOUTH, it raises concern. Not to mention there was not enough of the famous topical numbing gel that lessens the pain of the numbing shots they inject your jaw muscles with... Well, I'm sure if you know me, you know I was ready to swing on the new dentist. Jiggling my cheek while giving me a shot does not make it less painful; it makes me think you are really spastic, and it concerns me. When I get concerned, I start taking deeper breaths of nitrous, which, in turn, boosts your state of complete euphoria. Not so sure how healthy that really is. I don't blame the dentist today; she didn't know she was hurting me. But from now on, I will ONLY be seeing Doctor Allen for any more dental procedures I may have to endure.
So I went home today with a prescription of muscle relaxers, a throbbing jaw, and a lesson learned.
Don't repeatedly pass out drunk after throwing up. It doesn't matter if you brush your teeth as soon as you wake up; the acid had already damaged your teeth. Also:: floss like a madman. Otherwise, a week's worth of pain shall ensue.
Signing off for now,
Simply Sam.
No comments:
Post a Comment