It's been too long to have not written.
My life has been crazy the past few weeks with my parents' move to Virginia.
Excuses, excuses.
Anyway, I've learned a lot over the past few weeks.
First, don't sit in the bathtub for an hour and a half with all of your clothes on and the shower running... It's very unattractive.
Second, and I've known this, your "friends" are not your friends. What is my definition of a friend? Someone who you can call at 2 am when you need them and they come with no questions asked. When you're having a panic attack, they call you and talk you down.
Friends never throw things in your face, or deliberately dredge up the past in an attempt at a low blow. They help you when you're drunk and ill, make you laugh when all you want to do is cry, and grab hold of you and never let go, no matter how badly you don't want anyone touching you.
Now, with that being said...
This week I went to the outer banks to meet my parents and a large group of their long time friends. I had lots of fun in the sun, had great company, and felt totally at peace for the first time in a long time. Each night I spent on the beach with someone engaging in psychological evaluations, drunken laughter, and philosophical conversation. The sound of the waves, the moonlight on the water, the stars lighting up the sky, the salty ocean air, and even the sand in my hair and nooks & crannies was all very breathtaking and surreal to me. I'm not talking about the company I had while I was out there; just the environment. These nights on the beach helped open my eyes to certain things, including certain behaviors of mine. It was refreshing to have a conversation with someone who never talked down to me or belittled me; instead, he spoke to me as his equal, an adult with an adult mind. Very blunt, yet caring in a way, and always respectful towards me... I realized that I am better than what I allow myself to be. I don't think he knew that he was helping me. I hope to remain friends with him and stay in touch.. Again, it's refreshing to be content with conversation, laugh at your own stupidity, and let someone see who you are without judgement and without an agenda.
Signing off for now,
Simply Sam.
